Chance
". . . It is godlike to love the being of someone." This quote is in the novel Gilead by Marilynne Robinson. Any sane parent understands this. How amazing it is to love someone's existence. I like to think that how much I love my daughter Arden is a slight glimpse of how much God loves me. If so, that kind of love is incomprehensible.
I started full-time teaching this week. I'm teaching 8th grade English at a private school--Presbyterian School. The environment, the people, the church are all wonderful. Everyone is pleasant and calm. The day has its hectic moments but everyone goes with the flow and smiles. I've attended more church services and prayed more in the past two weeks than I have since Bible Study several years ago.
I do not think I chose this school. Rather, the school chose me. I'm not sure how I feel about fate, but the way this all unfolded is peculiar.
I didn't want to go back to teaching. Not that I hated it, but I was tired and bored with it. I went to Presbyterian School because my good friend Toni taught there, and at the time I was looking for photography business. She mentioned Presbyterian School was looking for someone to photograph some lacrosse games and track meets. I visited with Andrea, the communications director, and she gave me the job. The school impressed me from the moment I walked into it, but I still didn't think much about teaching there. Later, Toni told me they needed an 8th grade English teacher for the new school year. Hmmm. . . would it hurt to interview? No. I talked to David about it. He couldn't believe I was considering teaching again, but he liked the idea of me bringing home some money. Go for it! So I interviewed, they liked me, I liked them, I taught a creative writing lesson with Toni's 7th graders and bam! I got the job. Too easy.
I was excited about teaching with Toni again. We taught together for 5 years at Grady Middle School. Her enthusiasm spilled into me. We were a great team. Here we were, back together again. Too good to be true, right? Exactly. Toni's husband Onezieme was offered a teaching job at a university in Lafayette, LA, where they are from. They've always wanted to return to LA one day. This was perfect. Almost. But what about Toni and I teaching together again? Like I said, too good to be true.
So, flash forward to September (I'm finishing this a month later). Teaching is good. I am very energized by the students. I love reading their writing, discussing serious topics with them, seeing them get excited about learning something new. My co-workers are wonderful. Parents are great. The church is peaceful, so unlike being in a public school environment. Yet, I am consistently tired, borderline worn out by the end of the day. I rush from 6a-3:30p. I can't seem to fit everything into one day. I rush to work, rush to teach, rush to lunch, rush to the gym, rush to pick up Arden from daycare, rush cooking dinner, rush bathing Arden. . . rush, rush, rush. I remember rushing when I taught before, but it seems even worse now that I have a child.
I also remember being bored and wishing I was doing something productive when I stayed home with Arden for two years. The first year was fine, but the second year drove me mad. I started a photography business, but it didn't sustain me. I'm still photographing, but have little time to do so now. I guess the reason why I'm writing all this down is that I don't know what's the best situation. Do I continue to work for a while? We may have another baby. If that happens, do I keep working or do I stay home again? I think I'd rather stay home, mainly for the rest, but then I won't have any money. At least I have a choice. Many women don't. I need to remember that and be thankful.
I started full-time teaching this week. I'm teaching 8th grade English at a private school--Presbyterian School. The environment, the people, the church are all wonderful. Everyone is pleasant and calm. The day has its hectic moments but everyone goes with the flow and smiles. I've attended more church services and prayed more in the past two weeks than I have since Bible Study several years ago.
I do not think I chose this school. Rather, the school chose me. I'm not sure how I feel about fate, but the way this all unfolded is peculiar.
I didn't want to go back to teaching. Not that I hated it, but I was tired and bored with it. I went to Presbyterian School because my good friend Toni taught there, and at the time I was looking for photography business. She mentioned Presbyterian School was looking for someone to photograph some lacrosse games and track meets. I visited with Andrea, the communications director, and she gave me the job. The school impressed me from the moment I walked into it, but I still didn't think much about teaching there. Later, Toni told me they needed an 8th grade English teacher for the new school year. Hmmm. . . would it hurt to interview? No. I talked to David about it. He couldn't believe I was considering teaching again, but he liked the idea of me bringing home some money. Go for it! So I interviewed, they liked me, I liked them, I taught a creative writing lesson with Toni's 7th graders and bam! I got the job. Too easy.
I was excited about teaching with Toni again. We taught together for 5 years at Grady Middle School. Her enthusiasm spilled into me. We were a great team. Here we were, back together again. Too good to be true, right? Exactly. Toni's husband Onezieme was offered a teaching job at a university in Lafayette, LA, where they are from. They've always wanted to return to LA one day. This was perfect. Almost. But what about Toni and I teaching together again? Like I said, too good to be true.
So, flash forward to September (I'm finishing this a month later). Teaching is good. I am very energized by the students. I love reading their writing, discussing serious topics with them, seeing them get excited about learning something new. My co-workers are wonderful. Parents are great. The church is peaceful, so unlike being in a public school environment. Yet, I am consistently tired, borderline worn out by the end of the day. I rush from 6a-3:30p. I can't seem to fit everything into one day. I rush to work, rush to teach, rush to lunch, rush to the gym, rush to pick up Arden from daycare, rush cooking dinner, rush bathing Arden. . . rush, rush, rush. I remember rushing when I taught before, but it seems even worse now that I have a child.
I also remember being bored and wishing I was doing something productive when I stayed home with Arden for two years. The first year was fine, but the second year drove me mad. I started a photography business, but it didn't sustain me. I'm still photographing, but have little time to do so now. I guess the reason why I'm writing all this down is that I don't know what's the best situation. Do I continue to work for a while? We may have another baby. If that happens, do I keep working or do I stay home again? I think I'd rather stay home, mainly for the rest, but then I won't have any money. At least I have a choice. Many women don't. I need to remember that and be thankful.
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