Diablo

Tessa Gayle Dabney was born July 23, 2007. Her due date was July 24, but Dr. Rao induced a day early. All 8 lbs. 10 oz. of her came rushing out of my little belly. I should've known at that moment that she was a "startled" baby, one that was quite comfortable in my tight, dark womb. She was not ready to emerge. Instead, she was forced out. Thus, her behavior the first three months was, for lack of better words, wicked.

I say wicked in a light-hearted way. Looking back, it has been a blur. However, when I was in it, the experience was a complete nightmare. Tess was cute as a button--dark wisps of hair, dark blue eyes, beautiful skin, tiny perfect lips. But at around 4 p.m. she turned into the devil. She screamed as if she were on fire, her face turning red then purple then blue. She shook when she shrieked. It was awful. The coniption fit lasted about 2-3 hours, and then she would conk out, sometimes starting back up for another round. The only saving grace was that she slept well at night. In fact, she was like a different baby in the wee hours of the night. Strangely, I found myself wanting her to wake up for a feeding so that I could be with the calm, angelic baby Tess.

In September, I finally went to Dr. Rao, my OB, and consulted with her about my never-ending crying and sadness. I told her what was going on, and she asked me a series of questions relating to depression. After giving my answers, she looked at me sympathetically and said, "Lesli, you are not depressed. You are dealing with a very difficult situation. There is a difference. Anyone in your circumstances would feel the same." I, of course, burst into tears. So I wasn't insane. By choice. I was involuntarily and temporarily insane. As soon as Tess's colic subsided, I would be back to normal.

Flash forward 7 1/2 months, and yes, I was right. I'm okay now. Tess is a beautiful baby. She is a sensitive baby but no more colic! I'm finally out of the fog and so happy to have her in my life. She's healthy and happy!