Tonight, I mourn Christmas as a child
Tonight, I mourn the Christmas I knew as a child.
Even when I knew Santa wasn't real and sabotaged my parents' attempts to conceal "surprises," I still stayed awake until my eyes burned and woke before dawn to tip-toe around the tree and count all the presents that were for me.
Selfish? Yes. Fun? You bet. I don't like Christmas now. I mean, it's nice to see my daughters enjoy opening gifts, ooohhing and ahhhing about the lights, parties, sweets, Santa, Christmas shows, etc. But I don't feel "in the mix" anymore when it comes to holiday magic. I'm not a child anymore. I was kicked out of that age many years ago. Now I have to face Christmas as a serious time to reflect on what I have and what I can give to others. I'm supposed to think about what Christmas really means: celebrating the birth of Jesus by giving to others. Okay, that's the RIGHT thing to do. It's the noble way to look at Christmas. But it's not fun. It's grown-up. I know, I know, it's wrong to say that. But sometimes I get tired of being an adult. Wouldn't it be fun to be a kid during Christmas? No obligations? Well, we already did that years ago. It's our children's time now. What a punk I am.
Still, I mourn Christmas as a child. Let me be selfish for a bit longer. . .
Even when I knew Santa wasn't real and sabotaged my parents' attempts to conceal "surprises," I still stayed awake until my eyes burned and woke before dawn to tip-toe around the tree and count all the presents that were for me.
Selfish? Yes. Fun? You bet. I don't like Christmas now. I mean, it's nice to see my daughters enjoy opening gifts, ooohhing and ahhhing about the lights, parties, sweets, Santa, Christmas shows, etc. But I don't feel "in the mix" anymore when it comes to holiday magic. I'm not a child anymore. I was kicked out of that age many years ago. Now I have to face Christmas as a serious time to reflect on what I have and what I can give to others. I'm supposed to think about what Christmas really means: celebrating the birth of Jesus by giving to others. Okay, that's the RIGHT thing to do. It's the noble way to look at Christmas. But it's not fun. It's grown-up. I know, I know, it's wrong to say that. But sometimes I get tired of being an adult. Wouldn't it be fun to be a kid during Christmas? No obligations? Well, we already did that years ago. It's our children's time now. What a punk I am.
Still, I mourn Christmas as a child. Let me be selfish for a bit longer. . .
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